Lost and can never get back…

When I was 12 years old, (don’t laugh) I had a special big red pencil case wherein which I would keep all my treasures; which included my super ball collection. I had so many different super balls which I had collected on various grocery store trips with my mom. There were different sizes, patterns, and colors, including my prized super ball which was this fabulous oversized gigantic one with lights that would go off when you bounced it. We were living in Miami at the time, at a hotel called the Driftwood in North Miami Beach, On Collins Avenue. There was a hurricane warning so mom and dad decided we would drive up to South Carolina, where my dad’s from, and wait it out. As we were packing a feeling of dread came over me as I searched and searched but couldn’t find my beloved pencil case anywhere! I looked for it till the last minute; under the beds, in the kitchen cabinets, everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found. We finished loading the van and had to leave, and my heart sank as we drove away to SC.

To this day I have no idea what happened to it. I forgot about it for a long time, and only recently thought about it again. I think that deep down inside, I’m still looking for it.

That would explain a lot about me. 🙂

What’s something you lost that you wish you could get back?

6 thoughts on “Lost and can never get back…

  1. During my childhood, I amassed an awesome collection of baseball cards. I went through extraordinary measures to assemble my collection, scraping together pennies to buy them, winning them in card “flip” games, trading with other kids, and swapping the gum in my card pack with girls for the baseball cards. I kept my prized cards in shoe boxes and spent many hours memorizing statistics and relishing my beloved players. With the possible exception of my Gibson guitar, they were my most prized worldly possession. When I went away to college, I made sure that my cards were boxed and placed on a shelf for safekeeping in my parents’ house.

    When I came home for my first break during my freshman year, I went to the shelf where I had placed the cards to inspect and relish them again. Much to my horror, they were gone. When I asked my mother if she had moved them, she said: “Why yes, of course – I threw them in the trash with the rest of your junk right after you left!”

    Apart from the fact that the collector’s value of the cards probably could have paid for a few years of college, my heart ached – even into my adult years – that I had lost something that had consumed so much of my childhood attention and brought me such incomparable joy. To this day, I still remember vividly what my favorite cards looked like. I cannot bear to peruse trading card appraisals to see how much some of those cards are worth today.

    But I can’t blame my now dearly departed mother for her non-malicious actions. As incredible as it seemed at the time, I eventually realized that she honestly didn’t know how much those cards meant to me. Upon reflection, I also came to understand that losing those cards actually was a good thing. It taught me a valuable lesson – never get too attached to material possessions. (Except guitars, that is.)

  2. Time and Normalcy…..I was forced to grow up particularity early bc my older brother was diagnosed with severe low-function Autism. It was driven into my head at the age of 4 (when I first asked about my brother) that I would never have a conversation with my brother, a normal life, or any real happiness because I’d have to sacrifice all that when I get older to look after and take care of him….that does a lot to you at that much of a young age… especially when it’s that deeply embedded and you are constantly reminded of it. even more so when you’re not exactly “well off”. That being said, neither my father, nor my brother’s father, was around; just a step-dad (that i would later realize was kinda racist) who was really no role model for any child.

    So, with all that in mind…it makes you a very resentful person. you grow with this anger and hatred and baggage and (for lack of better words) bullsh*t that you can’t seem to get rid of….

    I say all that to say this. I’m 20 years old now, in the Army, starting college, and leader of 2 different bands…and even with all this going on, I still think back and resent everything that’s happened. So I guess I miss all the time that i lost, time that I spent not being able to accept my life/existence, and time I spent being so angry and not being able to cope with it, and time that I spent yelling to (whatever higher power there may be) that I didn’t want this. I also miss my sense of Normalcy–what I kept thinking would have been my life if things were “right”.

    Sorry to dampen the mood on your wall…I didn’t really think I’d let that much out…

    • You have to remember that that is fuel. That sense of non-normalcy. I think a lot of people feel that way. More so than most of us realize. You have a drive, an urge, and you can use that to accomplish something amazing. I’m still in the beginning stages of my onwards journey, even though I’ve seen and experienced so much, there are so many things I wanna do. What is it that you wanna do?

  3. The truth is we are far from the truth. The existance of what we are is only what you are today,but what you are today is not what you will be tomorrow,and what you are tomorrow is not what you are to become. Live for tomorrow today. Love people they will not love you back we love them anyway. Nice voice

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