What’s in a name?

I’ve always been a scruffy individual. Quirky around the edges. A vagabond through and through. Not that I’ve wanted to be that way. Not that I asked to be that way. It’s the way I was raised. It was pounded into me since I was born. I learned it while hustling from train, to airplane, to bus, to car, to subway, to metro – all around the world. Waiting on platforms at all hours of the day and night, sleeping where I sat or stood. Singing for tips on street corners. Getting by with a smile, a voice, and whatever I could stuff into a guitar case, or a backpack, or a suitcase shared with my brothers and sisters. Ever since I left mom and dad 10 years ago, I’ve fought it. I kept telling myself everything’s ok now. I don’t have to be a vagabond anymore. I thought I could beat this twisted tendency towards flustered flight and scattered living. But I have to face the truth. No matter where I go, how much I succeed in the world, who I think I am, my core remains the same, those tendencies remain, and have not changed. I tried changing my name. I thought the person I was could be sculpted and soothed, the frightened child inside brought to understand that the demons that used to haunt and plague her, the fears she once had were no more. Lies. The quest I am left with now is how to live with this person I’ve always been.

And where am I now? My flightiness and ever seeking and searching personality has brought me to many strange places.

My music takes center stage. I got signed to Capitol records. Met many wonderful people. Nurtured my musical side. I went on tour to Asia and Europe. Appeared on many TV shows and programs.

I opened a woodworking shop. Cultivated my love of home by learning all I could about creating beautiful spaces and furniture.

Went to college for a short time and studied psychology and theater.

Fell in and out of love.

Was I Susan Justice? Or am I still Susan Cagle.

This is an experiment in soul-searching.

This is an expose of love and hate.

This is a return to memories and feelings thought abandoned.

Sincerely Yours,

Susan Justice Cagle

1 thought on “What’s in a name?

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